Posts Tagged ‘mega man’

Severe and Unblinking: A Link Submitted

Tuesday, April 15th, 2008

picture-3.png

Gaming in the Clinton Years

I submit this Link with the following stipulations:

STIPULATION ONE: You must appreciate and accept the brilliance of Brad Neely (stipulation rider: this is not Brad Neely’s work; this is his real life counterpart).

STIPULATION TWO: You must have spent your formative years playing either 16, 32 or 64-bit video games.

STIPULATION THREE: You must have an unbending patience and a predisposition to character study.

—–

In short, this link chronicles a 45 year-old man’s work to record his reviews of 1990’s video games. He speaks in full, shunted sentences, often qualifying his nouns with the adjectives “outstanding” and “cool.” He decries Mario Kart for its lack of story elements. He cites Gex as being impossible to defeat without the aid of the Game Genie. He enunciates all his consonants with the sting of the autistic.

Wash yourself in the basin of nostalgia, and curdle in the audio of the absurd. I admit to having watched all of these reviews; I began drunk Saturday night and woke up sober Sunday morning. At the end, I heard my thoughts in his voice, and all I could think was that Donkey Kong Country 2 is one of the Coolest games around!

Begin with Final Doom, then move to the Fantastic Four and A Bug’s Life reviews. If you don’t still don’t believe me, you must not enjoy watching public access. Because I fucking love it.