Archive for April, 2008

Blog Post 2: Beyonce Knowles is a Goddamn Robot

Wednesday, April 9th, 2008


That’s right PROLETARIANS!!!

Wake up and smell the conspiracy! I have always had a deep-rooted distrust of Beyonce Knowles and her demands of me and my gender. But it wasn’t until recently that I figured out the exact reason why. She’s a damn dirty robot. More specifically she was manufactured by the government (or some other evil organization made up of evil old white people). Let’s be clear that this is based on nothing but a hunch. But you show me somebody led astray by a hunch and I’ll show you somebody that’s an obvious victim of Robo-Beyonce.

Let’s break it down. Take a good look at how Beyonce sings, talks, and moves. IT’S TOO PERFECT. Beyonce represents exactly what marketing companies think the typical American man want. She was created to sell CDs, hock perfume, trick women into thinking they can be empowered, and feed Jay-Z’s insatiable sexual appetite. I’m guessing you’ve got some questions.

Question: Does Robo-Beyonce know she’s a robot?

Answer: Yes. Re-watch ‘Bugaboo. Specifically minute 3:17. Look at the expression on her face. If that’s not the look of a person realizing that they don’t belong to the race of man I don’t know what is.

Question: Does she have ties to aliens?

Answer: Probably.

Question: Along with the human marketing companies?

Answer: Whoever said they were human?

Question: Talk more about Jay-Z insatiable appetite.

Answer: That’s not really a question and it makes me a little uncomfortable. All I’ll say is…one day it will destroy us all.